DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.
when they say youre too old for disney
The hop, I can’t. I cackled.
waking up cold: alright I need more blankies
waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.
- My German Teacher (in German): We have an observer here today but he doesn’t speak any German so we can talk about him and how stupid his tie is.
is there a month between april and june?
you can’t answer your own jokes
“why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”