DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

(via heliolisk)

83,005 notes



when they say youre too old for disney

The hop, I can’t. I cackled.

(via rabidxtoaster)

256,692 notes


waking up cold: alright I need more blankies

waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.

(Source: thiccthot, via cumfort)

149,748 notes

  • My German Teacher (in German): We have an observer here today but he doesn’t speak any German so we can talk about him and how stupid his tie is.

128,241 notes


Can anyone spot the gay at wwe?

(Source: shuckl, via happiest)

47,795 notes


*does the naruto run down the aisle at my wedding*

(via bitchbot)

55,080 notes

Anonymous asked: im 13 and my boyfriend wants me to spend the night what should i wear

88,697 notes

(Source: silversolicitor, via heliolisk)

185,448 notes





is there a month between april and june? 

may be

you can’t answer your own jokes

“why did the chicken cross the road?” “why” “sorry cant answer my own jokes ur gonna have to find the solution yourself”

(via officialwhitegirls)

437,939 notes